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jane and daria are giving the student tour at the end of the episode. jane: hey if you slip me a 20 i'll tell you what showers haven't been peed in. daria: my friend is just kidding of course... they've ALL been peed in. 
tom: can you sing? jane: yes... row row row your boat gently down the stream merrily merrily life is but a dream. tom: that was horrible. jane: i'm an artist... 
answering machine message: hi, i'm not here. but if you want to schedule a date, please leave the time and date desired, and your car's model date and colour. then maybe I'll get back to you. 
trent's car comercial song: you don't have a car... or your present car sucks... go to Happy Herb... with a few thousand bucks... and you can drive here... you can drive there... drive where you want... Happy Herb don't care... it won't make you better, smarter that's truuuue... but you can drive around when there's nothing else to do... so go buy a car... buy a damn car!... hit the road to nowhere in your Happy Herb caaar... 
tiffany: this toaster... is really shiny... 
nut guy: "welcome to it's a nutty, nutty, nutty world. we're just nuts about nuts. crunch nuts with your lunch. buy them by the bunch. send them to friends far away to munch." now repeat that so i know you've learned it. 
jane: do you want breakfast? daria: thanks, but I dont like to eat breakfast after lunch, it spoils my dinner... 
trent: we're thinking of changing our name. do you think if we spelled mystic spiral with two y's it would be better? daria: [thinking] and if I spelled my name d-a-r-y-a I'd be crowned miss america. 
mr. anthony demartino: and why are we going to engage in simulated combat? Daria? daria: because no high school education is complete until you've chased your fellow students around the woods with toy guns? 
kevin: men are smarter 'cause men have more muscle mass in our heads. 
mr. o'neill: so you see, girls, i don't want to change the intent of the poster, i just want to make it more palatable. you know what they say, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. jane: not if you're diabetic. 
quinn: ewww! you're not going to eat that fat, are you? daria: no. i'm going to stick it in my boots, 'cuz I love the squishy, squishy feeling 'round my toes. 
jane: a lot of weirdness around here lately. daria: yeah. i won't be sorry to see this day end. jane: you say that every day. daria: oh, yeah.  Cost of the War in Iraq
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allison: you can't eat in your room forever. why go to an artist's colony if you're not going to mix with your fellow artists? jane: that's like saying why go to a penal colony if you're not going to mix with your fellow... i think I'll stop there. 
jane: gee that was fun. But in the future let's save time and just roll around on gravel. 
jane: oh, no. the toilet is talking to me again. talking toilet, you may call me "jane." 
daria: welcome to "it's a nutty nutty nutty world." we're just nuts about nuts. 
daria: can you teach me how to twirl my hair and stare vacantly? 
teenage boy: where have you girls been all our lives? daria: waiting for you. we were born in this room. we grew up in this room. and we're going to die in this room, alone. 
"pssst. daria, what did you get for #1?" "the one about who I really am? try crossdresser." "thanks" 
"...you gotta help me daria. you're the most negative person I know..." 
mrs morgandorfer: doesn't ANYONE in this town wear pants? 
quinn: dressing all in black is a fashion statement. it's deep, it's meaningful, and it's slenderizing.  trent's birthday song for jane: little sister, little sister you came into my life like a twister. what can I get you that you haven't taken? what can I get you that hasn't been killed by corruption and greed? what can I get you that isn't tie-dyed or like what you already have, or plastic or not alive or so sad? 
stacy: if people in really poor countries can't get food, does that mean they can't get diet soda either? tiffany: then how do they stay so thin? 
jane: you'll figure out something. use your womanly attributes. daria: gotcha. i'll give birth. 
jane: trent are you gonna get pizza with us, too? trent: can't. practice starts at 7. jane: trent, it's 9. trent: better head out then. 
daria: you and jane arent really morning people, are you? trent: nah, the night holds the key. daria: the key to what? trent: I dunno Daria, it's early. 
jake: well, you can forget it missy! jake morgendorffer doesn't repeat himself! DOESNT REPEAT HIMSELF! 
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daria: so now my once rational mother is telling me that I have to respect quinn's beliefs. jane: Well I suppose the earth could be flat... 
quinn: don't worry, it's fake. daria: aw, you got a tattoo to match your personality. 
quinn: i think people who run over animals should get run over themselves to see how they like it. daria: what about the unpopular animals? quinn: unpopular animals don't count. 
daria: well, i guess i'd like my whole family to do something together. something that'll really make them suffer. 
daria: don't worry, i don't have low self-esteem. it's a mistake. i have low esteem for everyone else... 
anthony demartino: there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 
daria: the world is my oyster, but i just can't seem to get it open. 
jane: oh no, the toilet is talking to me again... 
jane: shallow graves for shallow people 
mr. o'neill: right here and now, let's pledge to make Daria's dream a reality. daria: you mean the one where people walking down the street burst into flames? 
daria: i don't like fun 
daria: you are now entering lawndale high, iQ limits strictly enforced. 
trent: do you ever feel like you're wasting your life, daria? daria: only when I'm not sleeping. 
sick sad world: you're blind, deaf, and can barely walk. yet, you've had affairs with three royals! How do you do it? 
jane's motto: every cloud has a smoky gray lining. 
daria: only quinn could turn having brains into a fad. jane: you know how fads are. Today it's brains, tomorrow, pierced tongues. then the next day, pierced brains. 
daria: sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it's almost like depth 
jane: ready to leave? daria: i was ready to go before we got here 
daria: the day has suddenly turned sinister. 
brittany: oh, mack, something terrible has happened! mack: don't worry, the sun's not gone. it's just hiding behind the clouds. 
got to get off i might go pop excuse me, excuse me i've got to be direct la la la if i'm off, please correct la la la you're standing on my neck la la la you're standing on my neck la la la you're standing on my neck la la la la la, la la la la la 
daria: forget it. i don't like kids. i didn't even like kids when I was a kid. 
jake: how come quinn never introduces us to her friends? daria: why don't you ask the little people who live in your potatoes? 
sick sad world: he gave her his kidney, she gave him her heart. transplants and romance, when sick, Sad world continues. 
sick sad world: are drug-crazed rodents raiding your child's medicine cabinet? rats on ritalin, next on sick, sad world. 
mr. o'neill: put your nose to the proverbial grindstone. quinn: what's wrong with my nose? 
quinn: ...and the doctor said sandi's leg will be in a cast for at least a month. poor sandi. crutches don't go with anything. daria: that's the same thing those land mine victims are always complaining about. |
